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spikey eye bw



Musings, questions and brief essays. The normal.

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My House
spikey eye bw
For those who may care for more detail, here is some info on my house. Bear in mind it is written in estate-agent-speak and may require some translation.

Description: This well maintained modern terrace home benefits from gas central heating and double glazing. The accommodation briefly comprises: entrance hallway, kitchen/diner, lounge, first floor landing, three bedrooms, bathroom and separate w.c. Outside there is a rear garden.

Storm canopy with tiled slates. UPVC double glazed door through to:

Entrance hallway:
Stairs to first floor with understairs storage space and cupboard. Double radiator. Textured ceiling. Alarm sensor to corner.

Kitchen/diner: 17'10 x 10'0 approx.
Refitted range of medium oak effect base, drawer and eye level units with tiled worktop surfaces to compliment. One and a quarter bowl sink unit with mixer tap. Tiled splashbacks. Built in carousel under worktops. Built in electric single oven and fitted four ring gas hob. Plumbing for automatic washing machine. Breakfast bar to middle. UPVC double glazed window to front aspect. UPVC double glazed French doors to rear aspect. Two double radiators. Air vent to side wall. Alarm sensor to corner. Dado rail. Tiled flooring. Two central ceiling lights. Coving to textured ceiling. Archway through to:

Lounge: 13'10 x 11'10 approx.
UPVC double glazed window to rear aspect. Double radiator. Television point. Telephone point. Dado rail. Picture rail. Coving to textured ceiling.

First floor landing:
UPVC double glazed window to front aspect. Built in airing cupboard housing wall mounted gas central heating boiler (combination boiler). Smoke detector (linked to central station). Textured ceiling. Loft access.

Bedroom 1: 11'10 x 10'10 approx.
UPVC double glazed window to rear aspect. Single radiator. Coving to textured ceiling.

Bedroom 2: 11'10 x 6'7 approx.
UPVC double glazed window to rear aspect. Single radiator. Textured ceiling.

Bedroom 3: 11'10 x 6'0 approx.
UPVC double glazed window to rear aspect. Double radiator. Textured ceiling.

Two piece suite comprising panelled bath with wall mounted shower and screen, vanity wash hand basin. Ceramic tiled splashbacks. UPVC double glazed frosted window to front aspect. Single radiator. Textured ceiling.

Comprising low level w.c. UPVC double glazed frosted window to front aspect. Textured ceiling.

The rear garden is laid to lawn with mature shrubs and flower beds. Rockery to one side. Paved patio area. Timber storage shed. Brick built wall to one side. Enclosed by timber fencing with gated side access.

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Your house is better than mine, and four people live in mine!

Well, maybe, but remember the estate agents exaggerate a lot. I doubt it is actually better, really. You'll probably get to see it sometime (somehow), anyway, so you can compare then.

"Estate agents esaggerate a lot"? Not any more they don't, because it's legally prohibited. A Private Members' Bill a few years back (I forget the name of the Act it became) specificially outlawed misleading phrases in estate agents' descriptions ("would suit a DIY enthusiast with capital to spare" -- meaning it's a wreck with no roof; "needs some modernisation -- meaning it's a wreck with no roof) and requires them to describe properties exactly as they are (albeit that you still get some terms no one else uses -- "three windows to the font elevation", meaning that it has three windows in the front). Ergo, what you've described should be what it's like!


When I was viewing properties they showed me on that was described as "well maintained". Here are a couple of the pictures I took of it:

Note that the fireplace has been ripped out, the walls are suffering from damp, the piping is exposed and hanging loose at the bottom. There are chips in the skirting board. The wallpaper badly needs replacing. This was not the worst room. The doors throughout the place were partially replaced and unpainted where they were. They didn't fit the doorframes properly. The front door had to be shoved really hard before we could get into the building. And they called it "well maintained". They most certainly DO still exagerrate, even if they are more careful about it.

Maybe they missed out "it will have to be..."

"They most certainly DO still exagerrate, even if they are more careful about it." (Or even exaggerate.)

On the face of it, this sounds like a probable breach of the Act in question, but you'd probably have to challenge them to their faces over it. It's possible, of course, that when they said "well-maintained" they meant the structure alone (i.e., the exterior), but I suspect that even the most naive prospective client would laugh in their faces if told that maintenance of a property didn't include interior things like fireplaces, pipework and plastering.

But what are you intending to do with the garden at your new home? Leave the lawn as it is (boring), or dig it up and do something more interesting?


I have NO idea what I'm going to do with the garden at this point. Leaving the lawn is quite likely, actually. I'm not big on gardening - but then I never had a garden where I was free to do whatever I wanted before so that could change.

Timber storage shed.

Planning on storing a lot of timber, are we :)

Ha! You'll be sorry when I take up woodwork and give you a badly constructed cupboard for Christmas.

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